We started out fine, and then we got to Dec. 6, which was shirts... $.05 for every shirt you own... not a big deal, right? We all made guesses as to how many it would be, and the boys thought it was hilarious and a fun adventure to count all our shirts. :) When we finally reached our total, I almost cried. We are very blessed in many ways... our basic needs have always been provided for, though sometimes we weren't sure how we would make it, God always miraculously stepped in. We have plenty of food to eat, jobs that we love, too many friends to count, and I know it's easy to take these things for granted. I know, because some of the things we grew up with and considered normal (like a microwave, washer and dryer, oven) we have previously lived without, and I swore I would never take them for granted again. We have previously lived in very small spaces, again, compared to how we grew up, and even though we live in a very comfortable home now, I make it a point to not just fill it with stuff and keep up our policy of 'give something away whenever you get something new'. We have lived in a developing country and witnessed extreme poverty, so we know what it's like for people to have little or nothing. And I have always promised myself that I wouldn't lose sight of that. But oh my, we counted our shirts...
The first thing I said to Brian was, 'I am so glad God has not struck me with lightning every time I have looked at that full closet and complained about having nothing to wear'... because unfortunately that has happened too many times to count. Of course we immediately talked about how we need to go through things and give stuff away that we don't wear or use any more. And, funny enough, the next time I was walking through a clothing store, I wasn't tempted at all to look at the sales or try something on... I just kept thinking about the huge number of shirts already in my closet. ;) But as the counting went on and I continued to think and pray, I realized there was something much deeper that was troubling. I had really started to pride myself (yes, of course, this is a problem) on our simple way of living, our minimalistic approach, how we don't hold on to material possessions, etc., etc. The day we counted our DVDs was kind of ridiculous... we own how many? And we really only watch about 20 on a regular basis... why have we collected so much? And why do we hold on to them?
If you really look at our list (understand it's not easy for me to post our numbers on our blog, but it's good to be honest, right?) you'll see we even changed a few categories... we added toys and books... things we know we have a lot of. But I didn't care how much 'money' our total came to... this became a lot more about a life-change, shifting our perspectives and priorities. We can and probably should always give more to God than we currently do, and I loved this tangible way to involve the boys. When our counting ended we went on the Nazarene Compassionate Ministries website and each boy got to pick a different ministry to give half of the money to. And then we prayed for the people who would be helped and shown the love of God through our very small donation.
For a few years now, our family has also done a 'Thanksgiving tree', and I love the focus it gives during the month of November each year. But as I look back on the things I'm thankful for, too many are about material possessions and fleeting emotions. Of course it's okay to be thankful for those things, but with all that God has done for me and the life he offers every day, it's time to go a little deeper. During November and December a friend shared a different thing he was thankful for every day on facebook... but he changed it to a promise of God that he was thankful for every day. I'm so glad he shared them on facebook - it was wonderful to read each day and it became a challenge to me. What promises of God am I thankful for? Sure it's easy to name some off the top of my head, but when was the last time I diligently and consistently searched scriptures and really meditated on God's promises?
So this is my commitment for 2015... every week I will share on our blog a promise of God that I'm thankful for and will be meditating on for the week. And with this commitment comes many others that just apply to me personally but will hopefully add to the shift in perspective that God is graciously inviting me to.
So for week 1, I'm thankful for God's promises in Isaiah 43:18-19 -
Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
I am so thankful that God does new things... and that HE is working and makes a way. Difficult things happen in life, and it's scary how easy it is for me to become bitter, fearful, way too concerned with what other people think, and way too concerned with what I feel I need and am entitled to. But God doesn't give up on me, and I need to extend that same grace to others, even when they hurt me. I'm so thankful God is willing to continue to teach me new things... even though I thought I already knew them. ;) I'm so thankful HE makes the way... and I really need to remember that. I love to make myself busy to feel like I have a purpose and am doing something worthwhile... but it's only when God makes the way that I see my purpose - it's in following him and joining him in his work - that's when I'm literally blown away by his love and guidance in my life.
So, I don't know what will happen in 2015... but I know what God and I will be working on together. Pray that we keep our focus on him and follow where he leads... I am overwhelmed by his love and the incredible joy he gives us each day. Praise God for new things. :)